I’ve seen it over the years. Quite a bit of it. But the last couple of days I’ve had a couple of incidents. Its a reality I have to live with if I want to play WoW. But I neither have to like it nor sit passively by and accept it. I’ll state openly I am a feminist – in this case one with a good understanding of constructs of gender identity and the alternatives viewpoints that encompasses.
Female opinions = PMS
We had a debate in /g. I’m not going to go into the details of it but it was entirely raid policy related. And who thought what is irrelevent because what I’m going to talk about is the reaction.
Apparently, because the two people who were making the point were female, we just had PMS. This means we’re emo, our opinions can be completely ignored, and we’re incapable of reasoned thought just because we’re female. Personally I find this a disgusting attitude, but hardly unexpected. What bothered me is that in an arguement about the game, the response was very personal and directed not at us as individuals with opinions, but soley at the fact we were women.
The people who participated in that crap are on my ignore lists and I intend to keep them there. Its a sad state when I feel the need to ignore guildies but I was deeply offended by this.
The Okkies problem
Then theres Okkies. Hes a complete idiot. He jumps on our vent channel and plays music/crap during raids. Hes a general pain in the arse. I think he was a trial once in our guild. Needless to say he failed.
But yesterday, he decided that because I was female, he could take things a step further. I am told he was saying things about me so nasty that a guildie came and told me about them, feeling they were pretty disgusting. He then carried that on in a guild application.
I’m not quite sure why hes targetting me. Again, not the first time this has happened just because I am female. I can think of at least two cases (in previous guilds) where another (male) officer chose, independently of anything I thought, to kick a player. And yet I am the one who was then targetted for abuse which was oriented around the fact that I’m female. It won’t be the last. In this case I really am not bothered byt what he says. This is what mute/ignore was created for. This is just another reality of playing WoW as a female. Theres nothing female players can do to stop this outside of in game chat (where you can complain at least). Against this you just have to have a thick skin.
Why am I posting about this?
Well, I have to say I just want to get this kind of crap out in the open. This kind of behaviour is luckily in a minority in WoW. But it is there and its quite nasty.
What I have found is that if you ask the people involved in this about their attitudes towards women, not one of them would say they are sexist. But thats what I find so disturbing about it. These attitudes are so deeply ingrained in some people, they don’t even realise they have them. Some guys simply can’t concieve of women as equals and though they pay lip service to equality they really still think that women should be restricted to not having opinions, not voicing dissent and not being allowed the freedom to speak that men have.
Thats what I feel is the case with the first incident. At least the guy in the second incident is open about his attitudes. That makes it easier to deal with for the women involved. If the behaviour is aggressive and insulting its easy to stand up to it and be strong against it. The first kind is far more difficult to address.
I have a lot of friends in my guild. I don’t feel I can be friends with people who won’t acknowledge my right to have an opinion, even if they disagree with it.
Sad isn’t it?